Finally took the big step today marriage!

Outside The Beltway
21

She’s beautiful.

I’m trying to figure out what those lavender blue flowers are? Her bouquet is gorgeous too.

22

Never forget… Love isn’t just a feeling. It’s a decision. Clint Black sang that love is something that we do. (He’s right.)

People don’t really “fall out of love”. They just stop deciding to love.

It’s easy to love in the beginning with all the freshness, excitement, romance. But true, deep love is built over years. It’s wanting the best for the other, without an expectation of something in it for you. (And when both partners adopt this approach, that’s when love really grows!) It’s not a 50-50 proposition. It’s 100-100. Each giving 100% for the sake of the other.

[/marriage-counseling-session]

1 Like
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She is. I’m trying to figure out if she lost a bet.

Congratulations @axxowiz. I liked getting married so much I did it twice. I hope you guys don’t like it that much – unless it’s just to renew vows.

24

Congrats Axx…enjoy the thrill of life together!

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25

Oh mama.

You would be a good father. You’re a good man. I say do it. :hugs:. It’s the best.

26

I really love this! Worth repeating

Congrats Axx

27

Congratulations! :clap:t2:

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Congratulations. Decades ago I married the man who still tells me every day how much he loves me and how beautiful he thinks I am. Every d_ _ n day, whether I want to hear it or not. Marriage is a great challenge and a great blessing. I’ve had friends and relatives with a divorce or two (or in a few cases three) behind them who are amazed that we’ve been able to remain married so long, and I always tell them that, for my own part, I’ve lived by the two rules:

  1. Don’t divorce him.
  2. Don’t’ shoot him.
29

Congratulations! Wish you both the very best!

30

Congratulations! :+1:t2: :+1:t2: :+1:t2:

Hope yall have many happy years together. :grin:

31

Love it. I completely agree with the importance of shifting away from a 50/50 mindset. The 50/50 mindset leads to “scorekeeping” which is a common trait in bad marriages.

And I’ll throw in the importance of not thinking about conflict as “You vs. me,” but thinking about conflict as “You + me vs. the problem”

32

Right.

If you-v-me is the overarching attitude in the conflict, you are hoping your spouse loses. And that’s the antithesis to love.

It’s easy to say when you’re not in the heat of battle though. Hard to remember it when it counts. Thus forgiveness is also a key element to a good marriage.

33

For sure:

^Shankar has a great podcast on the subject

The bias is called “hot-cold empathy gap,” which says when I’m fired up, I overestimate my ability to be rational, and when I’m calm, I underestimate the extent to which being fired up causes me to be irrational.

So I just take a ton of benzos … :slight_smile:

34

Congrats! That’s wonderful. My son is getting married in a very small service tomorrow- Covid wrecked their June and November plans for a big wedding, so they decided to just go ahead right now.

35

Congrats to you and your son as well!

I wonder if there will be “1st Anniversary” weddings in the future?

1 Like
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I can tell from the run on sentences that you’re as a high a kite and excited.

I’m happy for you, Axxo.

37

You chose a redhead. Noice.

She looks like Karen Gillan.

38

Wouldn’t it have been simpler to just taken down the Christmas decorations? :wink:

Congratulations to you and your lovely bride! :blush: :clinking_glasses:

39

Yeeehaw! Congratulations!!!

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Congratulations!!