Don’t be sorry & a boyfriend who pressures you into sex isn’t worthy of your time.
Wasted 7 years of my life on such a person.
I’ll get back with you in the morning as I must go to work.
Keep fighting & stay with us.
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I was where you’re at when I was your age; I’ve never made friends easily, nor easily kept friendships.
I still mostly feel those thoughts even at 50, that & being once bitten twice shy, so, outside this board, I pretty much keep to myself.
All I can advise you now is check out YouTube for videos about psychology. One advises how to survive after narcissistic abuse.
I’m not a psychologist to say anyone is a narcissist. But there is some advice in that video—like don’t complain about being lonely when a toxic person is out of your life, but embrace your time alone.
The more you’re unhappy being alone, the more likely you are to fall into the same destructive relationships. If you can & like animals, get a shelter pet.
They give unconditional love & are something to depend on you. Give faith a chance, if you practice a religion or want to. If not happy where you’re at, look at other churches or faiths.
Just don’t give up.
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You know, FlameHeart, a lot of people make mistakes at social events. Not everyone excels at making conversation. A lot of people even hate trying to make conversation and feel the same way you do. They’ve just become better at hiding it or learning “safe” talk (like the weather, lol).
The thing to remember is you will very much likely be forgotten the minute you walk away, unless you find an interesting conversation or someone you connect with.
It is ALL OKAY. There are people I’ve met who are totally bizarre and you know what? They don’t give a hoot. They still make friends. And, I couldn’t tell you to this day who those bizarre people are or recognize them again in a social setting. Maybe they think I am bizarre and you know what, they don’t give a hoot either.
YOU are a SPECIAL person. You wouldn’t be here if you weren’t supposed to be. You have a role to fulfil in this life. I promise you, your role was not meant to be miserable. You are unique; there is only one of you.
Try to do this with those negative thoughts:
Negative thought: “What if they are bored with me?”
Counter it with the most extreme opposite you can think of:
“What if they are fascinated by me?”
“Most people hate small talk”… “Most people LOVE small talk”.
Start confusing the hell out of that negative voice that is trying to suck away your beautiful spirit. That voice is NOT you and not meant to be a part of you.
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You are not a “terrible pet mom”. You are human with a huge heart that you filled with undying love for your little dog. No one like that (like us) wants to have their heart broken so sometimes we don’t see things as clearly as we should or could, or do, in hindsight. Hanging on out of love is not wrong, hanging on out of indifference, now that would have made you a “terrible pet mom”.
It is a delicate high wire act, that time when one begins to realize the best thing, the cruelest kindness as I call it, is to have our beloved pet put down, put out of their suffering. It is forgivable if we get a little selfish, perhaps even overlooking the signs that it is time. Not wanting to let go is not a crime, it is only human, it does not make you a bad pet mom, or in my case, a bad pet dad. Who among us that have experienced the unconditional love of a little fuzzy muzzle friend would not want to hang on to that as long as we can?
You do not suck. You were just like me, my wife, my two sisters, and many friends; all of us that behaved just as you when faced with losing our little dog.
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Thanks Lou. I was on a little time out when you posted this.
Things are getting a bit better. I’m starting to not have so many regrets and being able to be happy that he had a good, stable, happy life.
Still miss him though. Some days I am overwhelmed knowing I’ll never get to kiss his little round head or pet his soft fur ever again.
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Those are gorgeous! What are you doing with them?
I’m getting tons of zukes, too. I love them, but I’ve decided to stop picking them. Just have had too many. If you leave them on the vine, they get big and then turn orange and hard and you can use them for fall outdoor decorations.
Cool! I didn’t know that? We slice them in long strips, spice, butter, or a little olive oil and balsamic vinegar drizzle and bake them. Yummy! I don’t know off hand what temp or for how long my sweet wife bakes them? We are giving some away now to our neighbors. I love doing that! 
Our tomato plants are still producing, but they are all green at the moment.
One good way to use up one or 2 here or there is to grate it up, and stir into cooked and hot mashed potatoes, rice, mac-n-cheese or other pasta, and cover and let sit for 5 or so minutes. The heat cooks the zukes just enough and it doesn’t get watery, and you end up with pretty bright green streaks in your dish.
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Sounds great. Will clue in my sweetie on that one. We also need to do the traditional thing and make some zucchini bread! The mashed potatoes one sounds really good. I love finding new ways to dress up that dish.
Time to go check the garden. Down into the upper 40’s this morning, brrrrrrrr!
Will be harvesting more sweet grapes off our volunteer grape vine this morning. Been giving them away as well.
Will be giving away a lot more veggies next year in our expanded garden, if all goes well.
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That’s awesome that you have a garden, Lou C! My mother grows tomatoes, rosemary, basil and some other herbs in her garden. I had a strawberry plant that she got me, but it’s an annual plant, so it won’t produce anymore 
Right now I myself am learning to cook. I used to know how to make chicken Parmesan, but have since forgotten it. I can probably find some recipes online. But I’m down to the very basics…slowly but surely I am becoming more and more independent. I’ve completed my driving lessons, and am ready to test for my license.
I wanted to give you guys an update on where I am, and where I’m going. My mother has reached out to me numerous times since our last falling out, and she’s been nice to me so far. She’s apologized, as have I, for my part in the things that happened, and we’ve both made up. But I still need to heal, and sometimes I want to distance myself from her because of bad memories, because I’m scared that we’ll become close and then she’ll betray me. But so far, things have been good.
I’ve decided to reach out to my therapist and see if we can resolve things (I’m trying to stay at the table with people, and not ghost them or cut ties with them as soon as they do something that hurts me.) I’m doing CPT now, and have picked up some techniques on how to cope with my extreme emotions, in order to lessen them and change them. Like with my mother, I still have some bad memories, but again, I need to heal. I’ve written two impact statements. One about trying to support my best friend when she was molested when we were five, and one about the incidents with my mom. And I’m thinking about writing a third one about the incidents with my therapist, because that had a pretty big impact on me as well. I’m doing A-B-C worksheets right now; I’ve done about four and am working on a fifth sheet. I’ve decided to heed Lucy’s advice and take up journaling. I have a pretty pink journal with sequins that I got myself while buying school supplies. 
I’ve been researching colleges and universities. I have two paths I can go down once I graduate in 2019: One college that I’ve been seriously looking at, has a fantastic medical school (I’m a pre-med major) but to increase my chances of getting in, I need to do undergraduate research. To get that opportunity, I’ll need to get into the honors college. The good news is, I qualify because of my GPA so far, the bad news, only 22 students are accepted. This is path 1.
This is path 2: I will also need clinical experience to increase my chances of getting in. Medical assistants are needed badly in my area right now. I could go to medical assistant school, become an MA, and get about a year’s worth of clinical experience under my belt before I apply to medical school. But I can’t do both college and MA school concurrently; I don’t have enough time or money. So I am at a cross-roads.
I hope you all are doing well. 
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I’m glad you are learning to cook at 20 rather than finding out it’s sort of fun, like me, at 50😳
Here’s a site I like www.allrecipes.com
You can look up any dish or school of cooking you want and find something.
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Wow! Those are beautiful!
Thanks!
I am doing well!
Sorry I didn’t reply sooner!
Sorry to hear about your “cross-roads” dilemma. Those are not fun. I still second guess some of my decisions made at my personal cross-roads when I was younger.
If all options seem about equal I guess go with the one that, as the saying goes, “just go with your gut feeling”.
My spouse and I have a young adult granddaughter that is at a major crossroads regarding continuing college, and then in what direction? She started college sure and certain of the path she wanted to take, then a bump happened, then another, then. Well, I am sure you know full well how it goes.
We and her mother are trying to be supportive without overly pressuring her, although I am not convinced a little more pressure would hurt anything, but I keeps my mouth shut, I know my place in the pecking order. 
Glad my biggest decisions of late have been no more complex than “do I pick that zucchini today or let it grow for one more day”. 
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Oh, that is a good one, I have printed off many a recipe from that website.
I used to be a fantastic cook, not a gourmet guru, more a stick to your ribs kind of cook.
Lost a lot of the better practices along the way, but I can still whip it up when I put in the effort.
Thanks to my grandparents, who we lived with until I was 16, my sister and I learned a lot of useful stuff. One of the most important was basic cooking. I would help my grandmother out in the kitchen all the time. She was an excellent cook, and she could make home made bread to die for! She made jams, jellies, preserves, home made ketchup, you name it. If it came from the garden and fit in a Ball Jar, she canned it.
Miss you Zeffa! 
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I love that site. I’ve gotten so many great recipes from it.
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That’s good your grandmom taught both of you to cook. In some families, men learning to cook is considered effeminate.
That’s not only rigid, inflexible gender roles, it’s stifling to the creativity & love of cooking that might be developed in the boys.
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So true.
Luckily my grand parents and really my whole family were not, that I ever noticed, the kind of folks who would say “that’s mens work” or “that’s womans work”.
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Good news! My 12 year old daughter was admitted to wood shop class, a course usually made available to 8th graders for the first time.
Her MCAS (state English & math competency exam) in the math portion were high enough to elect it in 7th grade.
That’ll be something neat to learn.
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