woo hoo! Good for her! 
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Alright, probably risky to post here, but here goes:
I’m living in a state where I’m so the opposite POV from the majority, I feel as if in conversation about more controversial topics I have to recite the Miranda Warning & shut up. If I didn’t in my workplace, as someone outside the ideological majority, I’d be at leadership suspended.
So one such conversation took place next to me last night. “That’s our President”
Didn’t some learn growing up that politics, religion & sex weren’t such great topics in mixed company? Some workplaces forbid it.
So one of the instigators is then talking about her sister getting a waitress job that offers “mommy hours”. What are “mommy hours”?
If they’re part time & these individuals are being supported & insured by a spouse, that’s great! However, due to this person’s open revelations, no one in that family is a married parent or has private health insurance.
Hello, Medicaid & automatic eligibility like WIC? Big double standard too, IMO.
There are widowed & custodial dads. Do any of them ask for “daddy hours”? They’d be laughed at left & right if they did.
So this same individual, when her friends worked with us, bemoaned “It’s a man’s world.”
. Well, yeah, they’re not asking for special treatment like “flexible schedules” or “daddy hours”, or putting family photos everywhere in the office, so yeah, they tend to get taken more seriously.
Sorry for the longwinded rant. I get seniority & vacation time from my employer I won’t get elsewhere, plus am saving for retirement. I like the job, but may want to consider another department.
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I find heavy exercise once a week calms my temper. Especially swimming. And the more I don’t want to do it, the more I need too.
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That IS healthy & a good way to release pent up stress.
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Has anyone seen Nick around lately? I’m a little worried about him…
Things aren’t going so great right now, but I’m okay. I check in most days, just haven’t had anything to say. Thanks for asking about me.
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No problem. I’m sorry to hear that things aren’t going well.
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Congrats to you and your daughter!
Excellent work!
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Although I do miss having a job I do not miss workplace politics-peopletics-lunatics as the case may be.
Save for retirement! Save! Save! Save! Perhaps do some investing if you can find the right situation for your circumstances (unless you are already doing that).
Worst thing I ever did was start a retirement savings account that got really twisted up in a divorce and it ended and I never got back to a savings and or investment plan after that. Big mistake. Huge mistake.
It would be nice if there were companies who could afford to or handle and then offered “family hours” rather than “mommy” hours or “daddy” hours. Within reason of course.
I do believe there are parents that still teach their kids about subjects that should not be discussed in different venues or among different demographics, but I think too many never ever broach the subject.
Good luck with dodging the conversation bullets!
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Considering all us unnerving filthy Liberals annoying the beejeebers out of you every day here in Hanityland I would think you would never get out of the pool?
No I haven’t. Now that you mention it?
Think about you often! Even if I don’t check in myself I do look over the thread.
lol, yes, This way i don’t have to argue with the libs I know… I just smile. Very therapeutic…
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I’m a left leaning atheist in a deeply red, predominantly mormon state (though the left has become so unhinged I’m migrating to the libertarian side of things now, still can’t stand the right but the left has become abhorrent as well). I long ago learned to just not say much unless I wanted a confrontation. I also long ago learned that so long as I live here my vote is utterly pointless and worthless so I don’t even bother voting half the time - you can’t vote in primaries here unless your a registered member of a party (which I’m not) and the dems don’t even run candidates in half the races so the election is actually decided in the primary. If there are local races (mayor, city council) as those are non partisan positions meaning I’m allowed to vote but anything state wide or national there is little point though I always vote pointlessly in the presidential elections.
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Ugggh. I feel for you!
I have someone coming into town I have to meet with that is ultra liberal. I keep my conservative views to myself and just listen to him speak. Nodding my head with eyes wide like I am fascinated. Occasionally, I will ask a pointed question with a confused, innocent look on my face. His answers keep me highly amused during the conversations.
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I had a really wierd, Twilight Zonesque experience today, & this wouldn’t be the first such experience.
I treated myself to a steak and eggs breakfast in a diner that’s an occasional treat. While walking home, I started wondering about the former friend of my daughter (still don’t know what happened between the girls to this day).
So I get to the street where they last lived, and there’s a FOR RENT sign at their address. I checked the mailbox & it’s theirs that had no label.
Funny thing is I wondered were they even still in the area, & they were gone. That was one of those potential friendships—me and the kid’s mom—I let slip away & I feel badly about that to this day.
I never did take her up on dinner or a workout & I still feel badly—I’m going to make so many memories with the cat by my side playing hours of Candy Crush. Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be as this girl didn’t last with my daughter, but really, at this rate I’ll be like the Little Feat song “A Grave Without Flowers”—no friendships, no enemies.
I’ve got strictly on the job friendships as well as online. Too many once bitten twice shy experiences, & really, I think most human beings want to be around those they see as having commonalities with them, & this just isn’t taking place with me. I tell myself I’m wasting my time as well as theirs being anything more than casual acquaintances, that no one in their right minds would be interested in someone like me.
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Ah, I see steps on the path you have walked that seem so familiar to me.
Sometimes (actually, a lot of the time lately) I worry that I’m a narcissist. I’ve done some pretty mean things in the past, some of which probably were overboard. I’m sorry for my past behavior on the forums, everyone. All the insults, the snooty/haughty attitude, etc. that I’ve displayed. I’m trying my best to be kind now.
The thing is, before my surgery I used to perceive slights and avoid people who said them, but secretly angry/disheartened with them. Even if my perception was wrong, I still felt hurt, because I’m sensitive (overly so).
But now, I seem to be stuck in fight/survival mode. It’s like, “I’m not going to take any more of this ■■■■■■■■■ I have to stop this in its tracks before I get myself into another toxic situation” and I find myself acting out and over-asserting myself, which used to be rare for me. Then I go and I apologize, and I hate myself, to the point where I get depressed.
I don’t want to be a narcissist, I don’t want to be like that, I don’t want to be mean to other people and cause such turmoil in their lives. Most importantly, I don’t want to copy my mother’s previous behavior towards me, I don’t want to be like that. I know how much it hurts, so why am I doing it to other people? It logically or emotionally doesn’t make any sense.
Kindness used to be one of my most valued traits, especially in high school, where I would sacrifice myself in order to please other people. Now it’s as if I’m a sleeping lioness- and I mean this in a bad way. Approaching a sleeping lion is like playing with fire. I look like I’m okay or sad on the surface, but there’s a boiling pot of rage underneath just waiting to be let loose if someone pushes my buttons.
My self-esteem seems to fluctuate, from normal to “just let me die now, because I don’t deserve to exist” then maybe confident and wanting to get things done, then back again. I tend to split “black” on people, the smallest thing they do to hurt me and I distance myself from them, secretly angry with them.
I ruminate about things that people have done to me, or that I’ve done to other people. I overthink things and worry myself sick.
Regardless if I have NPD or not, I’m not normal. I have too many flaws, and I can’t seem to connect with people, whether I want to or not.
I’m sorry Flame. You’re still so young, I know at your age, I also struggled with people and how to find my way in the world. But you’re a smart young lady, and I will pray for you to find all the guidance and support you need.
I know it’s hard, but maybe try not to worry and fret about things you’ve done in the past. We all do and say things we wish we hadn’t. Beating ourselves up about it can make us sick!
I know here, we all love and respect you. It’s ok to be snippy some days, or having an attitude! It’s just life.
I know I posted something in the last week or so that you didn’t like, and you let me know it! Believe me, I respected your opinion, and the fact that you cared enough to tell me. It’s ok to get irate with people, and to show it, within reason.
Take care!
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Thanks Lucy.
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