Steady
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Wouldn’t want any pill-popping lard asses tripping over their jerking knees. Who will pay the hospital bill?
VA maybe?
…
Then who’s gonna pay to fix the VA’s hack job?
You’re already on single payer. Go sit in the corner.
I’m “on a plan” that I never use, so go pick up some dumbbells before it’s too late to ever say hi to your toes again. 
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Picked them up this morning, probably about the time you were milking your chickens.
Probably about the time I had already completed half the day’s work.* 
You’re new to this.
I was doing it before you were born, whippersnapper.
Just not as fast, not as strong, and not as good-looking. Older, yes. 
Oh no sonny boy, oh no! I wasn’t always old. And let’s not confuse 10th Mountain with a real unit with a selection process.
You had to google “good looking” to see how to spell it.
Remember, I pulled from the sun source of all that is right and good with the female of the species.
Leg.
Don’t break a hip now.
Go wipe your nose.
Go change your depends.
I have people…
Yeah, they’re called CNA’s.
Don’t worry about what I call them. Finish your bottle, it’s nap time.
OK, I’ll finish my water bottle so you can get your afternoon nap in. Don’t forget to take your dentures out first.
That’s not water in your bottle. It’s Similac.
Bacon’s Idol of the Cave.
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