Hey Janet, having been someone who suffers depression myself and been saved, I have found much of my depression is due to anxiety and worry. Your situation sounds a lot like mine in that I never feel good enough. I wonder if you don’t feel good enough because there are so many issues going on, that it feels like no matter what you do, how kind you are, people are going to snap at you and there will always be problems. Is this the case?
I know that you and your daughter’s relationship is struggling. I struggled with my own mother and we are fighting right now, but the truth is, good relationships rest in communication. Too many times I have found that fights start because someone decided not to communicate soon enough (I tend to be the “I’m fine” type in real life, or back to it, and I push it down and then everything comes out)- good communication is built with trust. I still love my mother though and she has good qualities about her that I admire.
People are under so much stress and anxiety due to the pandemic and politics. I try to understand and I know you try to understand, but there is no doubt that the tense air is weighing on your health. Empathy can only go so far until you feel like you are taken advantage of.
What helps me is knowing that God is still there. One of my favorite Bible verses is Matthew 6:25-30:
" Therefore I tell you, do not worry?>(B) about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. (C) Are you not much more valuable than they?D)" style=“font-size: 0.625em; line-height: normal; position: relative; vertical-align: text-top; top: auto;”>(D) 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your lifea]" style=“font-size: 0.625em; line-height: normal; position: relative; vertical-align: text-top; top: auto;”>[a]?E)" style=“font-size: 0.625em; line-height: normal; position: relative; vertical-align: text-top; top: auto;”>(E)
28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendorF)" style=“font-size: 0.625em; line-height: normal; position: relative; vertical-align: text-top; top: auto;”>(F) was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?"
Another one is John 14:15-16
You are so worthy. I know how you feel with the third wheel. Instead of cats, though, the kids at my ranch is who I live for. I love seeing these kids, especially with the pasts they have, just let go, if just for a moment, and be happy and just be kids. Seeing them interacting with the horses, swinging with their mentors, playing bean bag toss. This week we had a campfire and everyone made s’mores. It was just so nice.