About those jeans, right now that situation is a big lemon, is there a way you and your daughter could turn it into lemonade? Can she work real chores for money and buy them herself?
Can the 2 of you look online and maybe find them for cheap? Like modlily. com.
Also, there’s stores that cater to tweens and have trendy clothes for cheap. Like forever21.
Maybe there’s some way to bridge the gap and make you feel better, and her less angry.
Not gonna lie, it will get worse before it gets better, but it will get better. I
Please see a doctor right away, too. Some years ago when my daughter was 17, we had so many issues going on that my anxiety started going sky high, was manifesting as depression, and affecting my physical body. I couldn’t eat, was losing weight, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t relax, couldn’t be productive. My mom actually called me up one time because my whole family thought I had cancer or something.
I went to the doctor, and that was where I learned that there are a whole bunch of anti depressants they can try, without the side affects of earlier anti depressants.
It turns out there is one that mainly treats anxiety and it’s associated depression, I was so happy when she told me that. (Lexapro).
So I’ve been on that since then and things are so much better. I feel like I could go off, but I know that’s what everyone thinks. But I do think I’ll give it another year, and then try going off and see how it goes.
I have had no side effects at all. Other than feeling normal again. There may be side effects for some, but not like earlier generations of antidepressants (the tricyclics).
If it’s possible there is medical help, please give it a try. Your daughter really does need you. I understand
I am currently taking lexapro for generalized anxiety. Its used for depression in people as well.
There are side effects though. The first week is pretty rough but you get through it. Some people lose their sex drive or gain weight. But the weight gain might be due to feeling better and having an appetite.
It’s common to be prescribed a benzo like atavan when you start an antidepressant as they can increase anxiety and depression in the first week. But usually 3-4 weeks is needed for therapeutic effects. So you have to stick with it. Also you have to wean off it cant quit cold turkey.
You’re probably aware of the above but just posting for info for others. Lexapro definitely has helped me control my anxiety - I dont get worked up and havent had an anxiety attack while on the highway so that’s good. My sleep got so much better that I was able to quit coffee - and I used to be a huge coffee drinker. I’m not always going down worst case scenarios in my head anymore. It’s like it flattens me out and regulates me a bit better.
But talk to your Dr, do your research. Internet horror stories exist for everything
Yes, peoples bodies react differently to the increased serotonin levels. You body/brain need to adjust. This can trigger increases in anxiety or depression (thus also being prescribed a benzo when you are ramping up).
But it shouldnt last for more than a week. Stick with it for 3-4 weeks then one day you will wake up and realize, “I just feel awake and good”. Sometimes I feel like a kid again on good days, I can definitely feel the medication in a good way. It doesnt feel like a drug. For me it just turns down my worries and helps me enjoy things.
Also, do not drink when you are on an SSRI or a drug like atavan. You can get drunk much more quickly. You can get away with a few drinks here and there, but especially something like atavan you shouldnt be drinking at all.
It helps to start at 5mg for 1st week then 10mg for next 4-8 weeks to help your body adjust. Some docs start right at 10mg. I definitekt wouldn’t start higher than that
If this was a slightly ripped pair, or bleach faded, her father is OK with it. Wouldn’t bother me either.
But looking at the photo, it had, might as well say no knees. Denim is coarse material and should protect the wearer.
If she fell accidentally in these, her knees would be painfully scraped. Won’t buy her something that exposes her to injury like that, but was ok with a particular top—as long as a properly fitting strapless bra is worn underneath.
When she’s 15 or 16, she’ll have to do volunteer work or get at least a seasonal only, part time job to get some experience and responsibilities outside school.
Hey Janet, I know you’re feeling alone right now. If it’s any consolation, I think that your 13 year old is simply going through a phase…she does not yet have the maturity to understand that there are more important things in life than ripped jeans- but, I’ll guess that her friends are probably pressuring her into buying some. I know that people were like that when I was in middle school. I’m also sorry to hear about your FIL’s death.
Don’t give up. You’re a good person, and the world needs you. Like some of the other posters here, I think it would be wise to seek out counseling. There are many counselors who do a sliding scale, and there’s even online counseling. Depression, if not treated, can really mess your life up.
Please be kind to yourself. My therapist told me that empathy was like a bank. You have to put some in, to withdraw some for other people. If you’re feeling burned out, it’s difficult to care for other people, let alone yourself. Treat yourself to a warm bubble bath, to a walk outside in nature/the park, anything that you like.
Thank you Flame. It’s always good to hear from you. Hope all is well.
Heard back the next day from my friend. I got upset because I wondered had I sounded too abrasive or rude in the message.
I think I’ll treat myself to a walk, my favorite Chinese dish, and just relax for the rest of the day. Am taking one bereavement day Monday to honor FIL.
Only one other person knows this. About 10 minutes before I got the notice he had passed (comatose 5 days), I asked God to either heal him or bring him home. Got the text he had just passed 10 minutes later. He really does answer prayers.
