(maybe a repeat) I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but I turned myself around…
Dear Math,
Grow up and solve your own problems.
A reporter was interviewing the manager of a psychiatric hospital.
The reporter asked the manager what criteria are used to admit someone.
“Well”, said the manager, “Let me show you”. He led the reporter to a bathroom with a bathtub filled with water. On the ledge of the bathtub was a thimble a cup and a bucket.
“Show me the fastest way to empty the bathtub” the manager asked.
The reporter laughed and grabbed the bucket. “Of course, this is the easiest way so I pass the test!”
The manager said, “no, the fastest way to drain it is to pull the plug”. “Do you want a room with a garden or ocean view?”
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Did you hear about the guy who drank invisible ink? He’s at the hospital waiting to be seen.
An engineer was poking fun at a recipe his wife was using, saying it couldn’t cook right because the thing called for putting the pan in at 120 degrees.
What followed was a protractored discussion about jokes and engineering.
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Where do fruits go on vacation?
Pear-is.
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The hokey pokey always repeats.
they say that’s what it’s all about but I don’t think they’re seeing the big picture…
Why can’t a nose be 12" long? It would be a foot.
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do they have meter sales in European neighborhoods?
A lot of conflict in the Wild West could’ve been avoided completely if cowboy architects had made towns big enough for everyone.
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Modern Americans…
Oh give me buildings
Great big buildings
Never see the stars above
Just fence me in.
Let me have wifi
And cable TV that I love
And fence me in!
I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
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would a rebellious chicken avoid crosswalks?
Can two vegans have a beef with each other? 
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before you take a trip to Mars, would you have to planet?
What did one hat say to the other one? You stay here; I’ll go on a head.
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They do. Its a yellow ruller 1 yard plus 10 cm long and 1 inch wide.
It’s called a meter.
Love this one…
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