The First Joke Thread

Trivial Pursuits
22

Because redheads might kneecap you if you told redhead jokes.

3 Likes
24

I’ll bite…

I don’t know. Why ARE blonde jokes considered acceptable?

3 Likes
25

That’s probably true. I went out with a redhead and she was a pretty tough lady.

26

I don’t think they are. I married a blond and my two children are blondes,

I find blonde jokes to be offensive.

27

I don’t get it. what is the punchline?

4 Likes
28

why was the blonde on top of the bar’s roof?

She was told the drinks were on the house.

3 Likes
29

Stop.
No punchline, just me being overly sensitive.

30

I have blonde hair and so do both of my kids. We’re all gifted, so we love hearing them.

1 Like
31

Because they’re funny?

32

I’m blonde and have blonde moments. Maybe not blonde joke moments but blonde moments. I’m pretty sure my siblings who’re blonde would say the same.

Anyhoo…

One night a blonde awoke to smoke and found her house was on fire. She grabbed her cellphone and as she was fleeing the house she called the fire department: “Help, my house is on fire and I don’t want to lose all my stuff!”

“Calm down, Mam, can you tell me how to get to where you are?”

The blonde paused in her confusion: “Don’t you still have those big red trucks?”

4 Likes
33

I think they’re insulting.

34

This is why Blazing Saddles wouldn’t be much more than a commercial for Beano if made today.

35

Meh. Most people laugh only at joke that aren’t related to them anyway. :wink:

36

With a big enough family that’s rarely the case. Maybe small families are part of why people are losing their sense of humor?

… anyhoo …

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get away from the people judging its motives.

1 Like
37

why did the bricklayer cross the road?

to see a chicken lay eggs…

38

An African or European bricklayer?

39

Two alligators were sitting at the side of the swamp near the lake.

The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, “I can’t understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We’re the same age; we were the same size as kids. I just don’t get it.”

“Well,” said the big gator, “what have you been eating?”

“Politicians, same as you,” replied the small gator.

“Hmm…Well, where do you catch them?”

“Down the other side of the swamp near the parking lot by the Capitol.”

“Same here. Hmm… How do you catch them?”

“Well, I crawl up under one of their Lexus cars and wait for one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the sh*t out of them and eat’em!”

“Same here.” says the big gator. “Do you eat Democrats or Republicans?” “I eat the Democrats” says the little guy.

“Ah!” says the big gator. "I think I see your problem. You’re not getting any real nourishment. You see, by the time you finish shaking the sh*t out of a Democrat, there’s nothing left but an a**hole and a briefcase.”

4 Likes
40

Why do firemen wear red suspenders?

To comply with departmental regulations concerning uniform dress.

41

How many dems does it take to change a light bulb? Five. One to hold the bulb, and 4 to spin him in circles…