You’re correct.

It isn’t all that people think about.

In fact, they don’t think about it at all.

But that doesn’t mean things like this (which you recognize above with your mall cops analogy) don’t happen often:

This story isn’t posted to make anyone feel guilty or get offended (although I’m sure it will happens). What happened in the above story wasn’t a conscious effort on anyone’s part. It happened because of how things are set up to work.

And not just on race but on class. This institutional discrimination is a major reason why, for example, many of the very businesses that PPP loans were designed for couldn’t get them, and many businesses who didn’t need them could get them. Certain hidden assumptions that give breaks to people and make it harder for people just like them, only different maybe in race or class.

I actually agree many of the ways to try and make things like the story outlined above not happen as much are doomed to failure because they use loaded terms that turn on people’s defense mechanisms.

But I would ask you how we would make it so stories such as above happen less and less in ways that won’t make anyone feel guilty for something they didn’t do.