Quick! We Need an Amy Klobuchar Scandal!

Meanwhile back at Ground Zero of the Liberal Plot Against Real America, the “failing” New York Times has delivered an unprecedented dual endorsement of two candidates for the Democratic nomination for President; Senators Elizabeth Warren and Amy Klobuchar.

Amy Klobuchar???

It goes without saying that all prominent Democrats are scandal ridden moral slimeballs, as opposed to all Republicans who have the unique ability to emerge from Jefrey Epstein’s den of iniquity as pure as the driven snow (or at least as pure as Gym Jordan).

Warren is easily disposed of. Her use of her family tales of Native American heritage shows she clearly lacks the character to be President. And Biden – we well know that his carrying out a broadly supported government policy in the Ukraine places him beyond the moral pale.

But Amy Klobuchar? I am not aware of any scandal that attaches to her name. I expect we will see several candidate scandals emerge quickly. She is a Democrat after all and now she has earned the endorsement of the Times!

Please submit proposed scandals here so we can all see why she has been entirely unsuited to occupy the Presidency all along.

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I will start the first and yes it does lack originality: has anyone seen her birth certificate?

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She’s from Minnesota. Is that even part of the us???

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She’s a woman, so that should automatically disqualify her.

Or is she?

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I may have been too hasty in my request. There is a burgeoning scandal over how she treated at aide who delivered a salad that was not up to the Senator’s standards.

That, and the fact that she eats salad!

Not enough onion?

She’s apparently very hard on her staff, to the point of abuse. There were rumors that she chucked a stapler at one of them, but maybe that was debunked.

I think it holds dual US/Canadian citizenship.

She yelled, threw papers, and sometimes even hurled objects; one aide was accidentally hit with a flying binder, according to someone who saw it happen, though the staffer said the senator did not intend to hit anyone with the binder when she threw it.

Romney brought a binder of women.

Klobuchar brings a binder of pain.

Klobuchar 2020 - vote for Ame’ or bring your dodgin’ game.

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No. We don’t.

But I will say a full and complete sexual history of all candidates is now fair game considering media coverage of the current occupant.

So, amy…

“Just like Trump”. And that’s a criticism in these parts now?

Was it a big salad?

#neverwarren

I would say that’s a criticism per Vanity Fair, the source of the article.

I believe it was two scoops of salad for the Senator.

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And only one for everyone else.

I think I heard she spoke sharply to a staffer.

But did she use a sharpie?

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No scandal needed she has zero chance. Your candidate will be either old white man Biden or older white man Sanders.

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