Easy.

  1. We have the finest healthcare in the world for the rich elites who deserve it

  2. We have the hottest models that money can import from Eastern European.

  3. Our market system is so great you can buy politicians.

  4. Our police respond to crime almost as fast as news crews.

  5. Our populace enjoys a healthy disbelief of all factual data that doesn’t fit our preconceived ideas.

  6. Our tremendous land mass means we can despoil enormous amounts of the country without even noticing.

  7. We don’t need to worry about asking permission if we want to bomb most of the countries in the world.

  8. We keep our jails from being overcrowded by not charging white collar criminals.

  9. We have hundreds of billions dollars available to spend on killing anyone that wishes us harm as well as the several dozen people in the immediate vicinity.

  10. We’ve advanced the treatment and care of coronary artery disease, renal failure and diabetes by producing millions upon millions of test subjects.

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