Nah, revolt is a pipe dream. I mean, just look at the Trump supporters at his rallies. You can see the Cheetoh dust on their clothes from a dozen yards. Those people are going to rise up?

Not while they can replay Season 1 of Duck Dynasty from the comfort of their La-Z-Boy. Plus Domino’s has a great special on three-topping pizza, as long as our future revolutionary can get up off his sofa long enough to drive down to pick it up. He’ll probably make it there and back with a half-dozen beers already packed away. If not, he can blame Hillary.

But sure, these champions of humanity are going to rise up against tyranny.

Imagine their disappointment when they discover that they don’t serve booze in jail.