Yeah I do, nobody forced him to do it.
No one forces anyone to compete in sports, you are avoiding the subject. This is the other side of things, if you will not allow transgender athletes to compete in their preferred orientation, you can also run into situations like this.
And remember, there arenât a lot of these athletes and typically they donât do well.
From a personal perspective, I think being transgender is hard enough and perhaps part of dealing with it is acknowledging that you may not be able to participate in sports competitions. That it would harm acceptance and tolerance. That it isnât worth whatever ambition you might have pursuing said sport. Hell you can still enjoy sports, just not competitive ones.
But that is just my opinion. If they feel different and want to compete, have at it. But accept not everyone is going to like that you did. And again, we arenât talking across the board, we are talking about male to female transgendered and not the reverse for the most part.
No chance I am going to do that. I canât live my life worried about hurting someoneâs feelings by calling them a man or woman. Waaaay too much work.
Male: Has a weenie.
Female: Has a vajay-jay.
For millions of years that has been the tried and true definition. I see no reason to change now.
Thereâs very little work required. I had no idea cordiality was so hard for people. If you misgender them, they will hopefully politely correct you, and then you know which to use. And you can always fall back on gender neutral pronouns like they/them/their.
Does this lack of caring also extend into other descriptors. Like would you care if you called a Chinese person Japanese? A fat person pregnant?
Everything is easy when you view it like a kindergartner.
Or, maybe folks just donât care enough to bend over backwards for someone who is upset about being misgendered.
How about they extend some cordiality, have a nice conversation about the weather or the dog they are walking and who cares what they identify as?
Not asking for anyone to bend over backwards. Just be polite and if you misgender them and they correct you switch to the proper gendered words. If they are rude about it, then its not on you. You did your best.
Thereâs no reason you canât have a nice conversation about the weather, dogs, or whatever. When dealing with strangers the chances of gender even coming up are slim.
So you wouldnât care if someone referred to you as a man and used male pronouns when talking about you?
Iâm typically not rude to anyone I meet. Well, unless they are rude to me first.
I agree. Because it is such an anomaly.
There is zero doubt that I am female and anyone who meets me wouldnât second guess that for a second. So, if they did do that they are clearly looking for some kind of confrontation.
At which point I probably would just raise an eyebrow and wish them a good day.
Then youâll be fine.
So it wouldnât bother you?
So, if they did do that they are clearly looking for some kind of confrontation.
And you donât think thats the same interpretation that a transgender person would have if someone misgenders them intentionally?
This is also what you should do if the first time you misgender someone and they are rude about it.
Iâm not going to play the transgender game.
Men are men. Women are women.
Letâs just lump the ones who are confused as tweeners.
Life is complicated enough already. Offending a gender confused person is seriously low on my list of priorities.
My way of looking at it is like this, if someone identifies with a gender identity that perhaps isnât that evident and I misgender them by calling them sir or maâam, they have every right to correct it and I will follow suit, because I am not a rude person and that is what makes them comfortable.
But if they are on me like white on rice at the first mistake, that is in and of itself rude and I will simply walk away and not bother with that person.
This is especially true if they identify as non-binary (meaning, no gender at all) and want to be called ze or zer or they. Nobody can guess that stuff at first glance.
I used to date a girl with short hair, really short, but I thought it was cute. She didnât wear dresses much and sometimes folks who were passing by called her âsirâ before seeing her cute face. It always made her sad when it happened. Now, some may say âgrow your hair outâ and it wouldnât happen, but she liked the cut and honestly, it was a sexy look for her. To me, they were strangers and that crap happens, donât take it personal. But it really bugged her every time.
I think of her with this whole misgendering thing, I have seen how it can really hurt feelings. So I do try and be considerate, as anyone should.
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Give it a few decades, youâll come around.
A couple of years ago I worked on a show for Netflix that had a substantial LGBT+ representation all up and down the chain of the production.
So with our mandatory harrassment training there was also gender harrassment training.
It was basically that making misgendering mistakes is expected. If you donât know⌠ask. And donât be a dick about it.
It really isnât hard.
Agreed, my hospital is part of Ascension, and their policy is similar. We all had to go through training dealing with the subject as well. So be it, no big deal. Doesnât come up that often and it is a small thing to do to help someone be comfortable as a patient.
Iâm sorry to hear that, Torey.
I think we are all considerate until someone becomes offensive.
No one really cares what a person identifies as unless they make it an issue.
If I am going down the isle in a grocery store and my cart bumps someone elseâs? I look and say, âexcuse me, sirâ.
That is being polite. But if they turn around and tell me they are not a âsirâ and make a big deal out of it then that isnât right, either.
This really isnât sustainable. I get it is quite the fad right now and folks are eager to jump on the bandwagon.
Everything is easy if you have common sense. So sorry you donât.
I totally agree, the thing is you have no idea how many times they faced that in their lifetime, or even that day. Yours might just be the final straw that breaks them.
So even if they get upset, it is better to walk away.
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I get that you have to make patients comfortable.
That is your job. I donât deal with patients nor do I feel the need to make anyone comfortable.
Yes, I will stare at a man dressed as a woman because it is freaking weird.
I donât know. My Uncle when I was young was obviously gay, but I was a little kid in the 60s and 70s and we didnât know too much about that stuff. He never came out except to my Mom and Dad, the rest of the family never knew. He took his life when he was 28.
Had he survived those times, I imagine he would still be around and so happy things are better for men like him. Because now it is okay.
And perhaps there are more gender issues than we have ever estimated before, and perhaps more will feel more comfortable stepping forward. And if they do, maybe it isnât a bandwagon effect but simply that these times are safer to do so than ever before. It can feel a little trendy to me, but every time I feel that, I think of my Uncle and how much I loved him. What would he want me to do?
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