Baghdad Bob Reporting from the USA
Yes Baghdad Bob, the former Iraqi Information Minister and spokesman for Saddam Hussein’s Socialist Baath Party, is reporting on the 2020 election from all across the USA. If you don’t remember Baghdad Bob, back in 2003 he repeatedly appeared on Iraqi television assuring Iraqi’s of their successful war effort against American forces, proclaiming “there are no Americans in Baghdad” and that Iraqi forces were “burning the Americans in their tanks”, saying only that his reports came from “authentic sources - many authentic sources”. – BBC News 6/26/03
Americans, who went to bed on the evening of Tuesday, November 3, 2020, believing President Trump had easily won re-election given large vote count leads in PA, GA, MI, WI, and NC, were in for a big surprise. As they slept the counting in all of these places inexplicably stopped for hours. When the counting resumed, viola! Biden was ahead in WI and Trump’s big leads elsewhere were all but gone.
Why did the counting stop? Not a valid question says Baghdad Bob, this is perfectly normal even though we have never seen it happen before.
Those pesky mail-in ballots had to be counted, you see. Mail-in ballots are exclusively used by Democrats, illiterate Republicans aren’t sophisticated enough for them. So it makes perfect sense that the massive Trump leads witnessed by all on election night would dissipate with the counting of mail-in ballots. Also, mail-in ballots can only be counted in the dark, or in private, or while windows are covered. Don’t worry, Baghdad Bob assures us that this is perfectly normal.
Pam Bondi and Corey Lewandowski had to obtain a court order so they could watch the Philadelphia vote count from 6 feet away. Even with the order in hand Bondi, Lewandowski and company were still refused access by the PA Board of Elections. The Sherriff refused to enforce the court order. Watch. Don’t worry, Baghdad Bob assures us that there are in fact poll watchers from both parties inside observing the count, we just can’t see or hear from them.
When a Michigan count of 128,000 votes for Biden and 0 votes for Trump was reported, it turned out to be a typo. Nothing to see here says Baghdad Bob aka snopes.com. Of course this would have been caught and corrected whether it became infamous or not. And don’t go all conspiratorial wondering how many times typos like this may have happened in the night and behind cardboard covered windows. Baghdad Bob assures us that all of the mistakes that favor Biden, which you can’t see, are absolutely being corrected.
Pursuant to AB4 the State of Nevada was to have mailed out 1,821,356 ballots to active registered voters in the state. Sounds simple enough, send a ballot to everyone on the active list. Or is it? I have been living at my current address since 2001 and still receive mail addressed to prior residents. Turns out mailing lists are somewhat less than perfect. The government is somewhat less than perfect at doing anything, even cashing income tax checks, but I digress. The result? As many as 18 ballots were mailed to single addresses, thousands of ballots were sent to the deceased and still thousands more were sent to people who moved out of Nevada. How many of these erroneous ballots were cast as votes and included in the count? Baghdad Bob asks doubters for proof, rather than asking Nevada election officials for answers.
Forget that Joe Biden was invisible for the entire campaign season and that Kamala Harris has yet to hold a press conference. Forget that Joe Biden, who stood in judgment of Clarence Thomas in 1991 and who was outspoken against Brett Kavanaugh in 2018, stands accused of rape by Tara Reade since April 2020. Forget the 1980’s infamous plagiarizer Biden who again plagiarized John Kerry in 2020 stating he was against fracking before he was for it, he was for the Green New Deal before he was against it, and he was for Medicare for All before he was against it. Forget that Joe Biden promised to repeal the Trump tax cuts and also promised not to raise taxes on the middle class while calling for $4 trillion in new spending. Do believe that Joe Biden will not again send American jobs to China while evidence of Chinese money flowing to Biden Family pockets illuminates. Forget his horn honking empty rallies filled with Uber self-driving cars. Okay, we don’t know they were Uber self-driving cars, but they could have been … after all, big tech is backing him all the way.
Forget higher wages, lower taxes, energy independence, VA choice, Right to Try, Favored Nation drug pricing, record low unemployment for all, annihilation of the Isis Caliphate, appointments of constitutional jurists, school choice, permanent funding for historically black colleges, control of illegal immigration, American Embassy in Jerusalem, peace in the Middle East. Forget the tens of thousands you saw chanting “We Love Trump!” at rally after rally.
The beloved guy who did all of that was beaten by the invisible guy. Fairly.
The Paragons of Electoral Integrity who brought us Russian Collusion assure us through their spokesman Baghdad Bob that all across the USA, votes are being counted with integrity, in a fair and honest manner behind closed doors and under shroud of darkness. We just have to close our lying eyes, ignore the facts and trust them. The counts are coming from authentic sources, many authentic sources.
